Okay…… Now try to read the third line from the bottom.
Day 12 of Continuing Recovery
I was reminded this morning of what a cup of kindness means to me.
Underneath each break from Recovery is the mistaken notion that I don’t deserve and I don’t need and I don’t want real love for myself. I feel guilty when kindness comes my way, as if it’s my job alone to be kind to others and not the other way around.
Today I’m reminding myself that I have suffered for others. I have given love and care to others. I don’t need to feel guilty that others suffered for me and took care of me. I can be kind to myself and I can accept the kindness of others.
G-d gives me the gift of existence and the right to enjoy it. I am not an island. I am part of a larger system of love and I must play my part in it. It includes pain and happiness. Both are inherent in life. It is at odds with life to deny myself happiness.
At the suggestion of my sponsor, I will take a few small moments of Quiet Time throughout the day and write down something loving to myself and why I deserve it.
Here’s my first note to self:
In order to receive the love of others, I must be open to caring for myself with love. I deserve it because I am part of a larger system of love. So, my cup of kindness to myself today will be the enjoyment of connecting with my Higher Power through Quiet Time; with my husband during our Sharing Time; with a spiritual friend from work on a lunch date; and with 12-step fellows through outreach phone calls.
If this is what it means to be a food addict, I’m grateful! This is the path that is leading to peace, wisdom and compassion.
Love & Light,
Valerie
So true Valerie! We create all that is in our lives which is the adventure of being alive, This is our spiritual path to healing and wholeness. I join you in the awareness of giving and, perhaps more importantly, receiving love. It’s always there… Sending and receiving love…
Thank you, dear Melinda. Let’s talk soon. I’m ready for more of your healing work. Love & Light, Valerie
Dearest daughter, yesterday you gave me all I needed to get through the difficult time of getting my knee taken care of – you held my hand – you kept your cool when we got lost – you were just the compassionate friend I needed – and best of all, we laughted a lot – thank you – m
Thank you, Mom. I’m so glad that you are open to receiving love. We are both on the path of learning to care deeply for ourselves. To know that all is well. Love & Light, Valerie
Valerie,
Your thoughts really pulled at my heart–receiving love sometimes makes me feel guilty–I wonder if women struggle with this because we are made to feel that we are the caregivers to the world–or is this who we are made beautiful by our G-d and we need to accept our perfection and the love that comes to us from everywhere because we are! Love, Wisdom and Truth be yours!
Melanie
Dear Melanie, Thank you so much for your deep musings. Does our society make us feel our role is to take care of others and not ourselves? Or does G-d make us beautiful in this way and we are also called to receive all abiding love? Something to ponder in my Quiet Time. Wow! You are such a gift. Thank you for the blessing of your friendship. Love & Light, Valerie
Dear Valerie,
dear women who care and love and learn to receive:
I have a woman friend here who hesitates accepting my offerings of help.
I tell her, its not quite fair of her not to give me a chance to “earn my karmic points ”
while she accumulates all the goodies.
That made sense to her.
So I pass it on.
I am so glad you are learning to breath in all the loving kindness coming your way, and with a big exhale: ah, life is good to me as I am good with it.
love and peace
and Myra, all the best with your knee
nicola
Dear Nicola,
I love this. It makes me think that G-d is waiting for me to ask for help so that the help can be provided. I am learning to ask for help and to breathe it in.
My signal to check in with G-d and take a deep breath in is when Miranda-the-labradoodle takes a deep breath in and blows it out.
Love & Light,
Valerie