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This is the kitchen where we talk about food, life, and recovery—a spiritual path to healing and peace.

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You are invited to keep coming back to A Cup of Kindness to share your experience, strength and hope; fears, doubts and insecurities; and to pick up information, inspiration … and have a little fun!

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In January 2007, at the age of 51, I joined a 12-step program and began my recovery from food addiction, losing 75 pounds in the process. Read more…

In January 2011, at the age of 55, I began my recovery from a multi-trauma accident, 36 fractures, damaged lungs, and post traumatic stress. Read more…

I am deeply grateful for all the kindnesses, large and small, offered to me in recovery. Here I am... alive… still making progress … still not perfect … finding a new way forward in a growing community of women and men who share a lot in common around food and life.

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A new compassion

Buddha of Compassion in Garden

 

Today, I was reminded what it used to be like when it was time to be supportive of another person in times of sorrow or joy. I would struggle to find the right words to say, in just the right way. It didn’t seem fully sincere to me, but at least the other person knew I was there for them. That was the important thing.

Then something happened when I stopped eating flour and sugar. My heart melted. I felt the warmth of compassion… according to the meaning of the word compassion: “to suffer with.”

There was no longer a need to “be supportive” and search for the right words to say and the right way to say them. I began to feel feelings in my body, down to the cellular level. I realized that all I needed to do was to honestly share my feelings.

Now, when another person brings me their experience I feel my face change. I feel my heart go out to them. Words flow. Sometimes I start by saying what I’m feeling in my body.

“My heart is going out to you.”

“Wow! I feel like jumping for joy with you!”

I’m also feeling my own joys and sorrows very differently.

When something inspires me I feel a thrill throughout my body. It’s my cue to pay close attention. It means there’s something deeply meaningful to ponder when I feel that thrill.

When something saddens or gladdens me, my heart swells, my face flushes and my eyes tear. There is a tenderness that comes over me.

I look at Gregory and… depending on the day… either a big smile pops out and I feel warm all over… or I frown and feel the frustration and anger of having to relate to a person who is so different from me.

I really don’t remember feeling my feelings like this before getting abstinent and following my 12-step program.

I guess abstinence makes the heart grow fonder. Thank goodness.

Love & Light,

Valerie

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