Day 63 of continuing recovery
In one day last week three people used the word “antidote” with me. Since then I’ve been pondering antidotes.
It all started with my sponsor. She heard me say that I was worrying a lot. In unfocused moments — walking the dog, washing the dishes, taking a shower — images of possible future catastrophes were popping up. My sponsor said that preparation is the antidote to worry. And then we talked about what I could do to prepare.
Later that morning a fellow 12-step member in the recovery program related to money heard me say that I used to think I was intuitive about money and now I know that I’m just vague. She said clarity is the antidote to vagueness. I started writing down everything I spend.
I was coming home from the day’s errands and feeling a bit low. I did something that helped me so much. I reached out to a program fellow and in the conversation I tracked back those low feelings to a trip I took at the gym. I tripped and dove for a nearby couch. I wasn’t hurt at all, but it was a bit dramatic and several people leapt to help me up. How embarrassing, not to mention re-traumatizing. As I talked to my friend it became clear that I was in a mood of self pity. I kept thinking, my senses and my body are not reliable. Poor me. My friend said that self care is the antidote to self pity. I reflected on all that I am doing as self care and felt much better.
Holy Toledo! Three antidotes in one day!
Other antidotes I’ve practiced include:
Thinking about the vastness of the universe and time as an antidote to self absorption.
“That’s not my food…” as an antidote to craving flour and sugar.
Viewing every moment as a miracle as the antidote to boredom.
Antidotes have been helping me all week. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Other antidotes out there?
Love & Light,
Valerie
Dear Valerie,
“Gratitude is the antidote to the restless heart.”
~ Francesca Gianaris
PS: I love you!
Dear Francesca,
I love this! Thank you. And I love you, too.
Valerie
Last night I watched Bill Moyers and his guest talk about “climate change”. HIs next guest talked about the problem of “super pac’s and how damaging they are to democracy. I realized that I was frightened and very concerned that there was little I could do to help. I felt old and useless. My next thought was: I can leave these issues in the hands of these Very Competent Activists. Though I can’t do much to help, the Antidote to my fear and concern is to Be Aware and do whatever small thing I can do: vote for those who support the important issues that will keep our planet alive, and for those who understand the pernicious effect of huge amounts of money given to candidates who can be persuaded to act against the “people’s” interestes. Whew! And I’m so glad that you had kind people who were concerned and came to your aid at the gym. For some reason we all feel “foolish” when we fall. In your case other issues arose. I’m so sorry. And I’m so glad you are ok! Love, your mama
Thank you, dear Mama. Such wisdom and beautifully said.
Love & Light,
Valerie