Thanks to Bill for this gorgeous photo of an amazing flower.
I used to be afraid of being gorgeous – being beautiful, smart, happy, confident.
When I was growing up there were some painful experiences that taught me to keep my head down. If I was special, there would be other girls who would find it their business to take me down a notch or two.
For a long time, I couldn’t understand what was happening. How could other girls (and later other women of my same age) be so mean? I must have done something really wrong.
I have some theories now in hindsight. I could have listened more and talked less. I was tall. I may have been literally looking down on people. I was happy to share my knowledge. Others may have perceived that I was lording my awareness over them. I was confident. My dad used to say, “Don’t be so sure of yourself.” And, of course, I took his advice and became insecure.
In my 12-step program, I’ve had a new experience. As I was losing weight, my fellows expressed their happiness for me. They told me they saw a glow, that I was beautiful. Once I reached my right weight the feeling of gorgeousness deepened as I found help with how to dress and adorn this new presence in the world.
After some time, my appearance became the new normal to me. I no longer got a startled charge out of my reflection in shop windows. I felt good, but not gorgeous.
What is being gorgeous? What does it bring? Is it a gift to share or a light to hide? Is it OK for the Grand Canyon or a Schubert song or a Van Gogh painting to take our breath away, but not a person, not me?
In this moment, I feel a leading. It calls me to co-create with G-d the presence of gorgeousness—a renewed me as a work of art.
I’m so inspired when I see in you the courage to experience your own G-d given gorgeousness. Thank you. It helps me to know that I can go there. It will be OK.
Love & Light,
Valerie
Oh, at last! I never could understand why you objected to being called “beautiful” or “gorgeous” or any other of the accolades that your family and good friends expressed when they spoke of you. I am so sorry that there have been people who were “mean” to you. As you have grown wiser you are looking at yourself with “fresh eyes” through the knowledge you are gaining in your program. I know you are finding comfort in coming to see yourself in all of your person-hood. eternally, mom
Thanks, Mom. I’m so lucky to have a good mother. Love & Light, Valerie
Wow, tough one. It’s very easy to see you as gorgeous. In the south you’re a long, tall drink o woman and have the soul of a Buddha. You are a gorgeous creature. As you showed me how to write in the positive I am now challenged by you to hold myself as a gorgeous woman inside and to shine that self love outward. One step at a time I’ll take my newly loved self to my singing lesson and see if my teacher notices how gorgeous I am. Thanks for the challenge!
Hiya Betsy, What do you think it means that I see you as shining gorgeousness — twinkly eyed, mischievously smiled, lusciously sexy, kind and funny — and you see me as gorgeous, and it’s so challenging to see it in ourselves? Love & Light, Valerie
Valerie,
gorgeous indeed. I’m stopping by from a comment you left on Slow Love Life – about Myra, your mother. My mother will celebrate her 80th this June and your sentiments brought tears to my eyes. Your wishes for your mother? I’d like to echo those to mine. I hold her so dear in my heart and am amazed at her grace. Thank you for your “gorgeous” written words.
Dear Barbara, Thank you for stopping by and introducing yourself. I checked out your blog, http://www.theemptynestmom.com, and thoroughly enjoyed your light touch, wisdom and love. I’ll add you to my blogroll and keep coming back to visit. I’m amazed at my mom’s grace, too. We are lucky indeed. Love & Light, Valerie
Val, I think you should add some pictures of you in your gorgeousness, as well as your gorgeous mother and sister. (maybe I’d just like to enjoy them!)
Hi Anne! Still pondering the mystery of relative anonymity. Love you lots! Valerie
Valerie, your posting on gorgeousness reminds me of how sad I’ve been over Whitney Houston’s death. Apparently as she got older – -and perhaps even all of her life — Whitney worried that she wasn’t pretty enough, wasn’t good enough. I read she’d wanted to get a facelift in the weeks before attending the Grammys but didn’t pass the requisite liver and kidney function tests.
Meg Ryan has said that she thought friends would always want her to succeed, but what she actually found was that people wanted her to keep her head down. The last thing they wanted, she said, was to see her shine.
I think there comes a time when each of us must become our own best cheerleader. I went through the windshield of a car when I was 13 and have worn bangs to hide the scar ever since. If I got caught in a wind that blew my hair back, I’d try to hide my face so that people wouldn’t see the scar. But now — all these long decades later – -when the wind blows by hair back, I tip my face up and thank my creator for every moment of every day I’ve lived since that accident…
Oh, Marilyn. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your story. Absolutely beautiful. Now, every time I think of you I’ll have that image of you tipping your face up and thanking your creator. Blessings, Love & Light, Valerie.
Dear Valerie,
I find gorgeousness in the way you express yourself, forming your thoughts and feelings in auditory embodied poetry. The visual gets so much play. It is a dominant sense perception, yes. But the heard word, the body speaking from digested/ing experience seeking to be honored and humored and humbled and held high, brings a satisfaction that we could call, gorgeous.
I am digesting turning 1 year older, today. The reality of time marching onward is surrendered to, finally, on this day commemorating the gift of life given (to) me. Where and when gorgeousness strikes, be there!
With love on my birthday (!)
Ellen
Dear Ellen, Happy, Joyous and Free Birthday! From my whole heart, I’m thankful for your life. I find your words here stunning. I keep re-reading them. “But the heard word, the body speaking from digested/ing experience seeking to be honored and humored and humbled and held high, brings a satisfaction that we could call, gorgeous… Where and when gorgeousness strikes, be there!” Love & Light on your Birthday, Valerie
Valerie,
You are gorgeous and inspirational! love your website, and have recommended it to several friends.
xoxo
Roberta
Thank you, Roberta. I love you, my dear cousin. Love & Light, Valerie