This is the kitchen where we talk about food, life, and recovery—a spiritual path to healing and peace.

You are invited to keep coming back to A Cup of Kindness to share your experience, strength and hope; fears, doubts and insecurities; and to pick up information, inspiration … and have a little fun!

My story
In January 2007, at the age of 51, I joined a 12-step program and began my recovery from food addiction, losing 75 pounds in the process. Read more…

In January 2011, at the age of 55, I began my recovery from a multi-trauma accident, 36 fractures, damaged lungs, and post traumatic stress. Read more…

I am deeply grateful for all the kindnesses, large and small, offered to me in recovery. Here I am... alive… still making progress … still not perfect … finding a new way forward in a growing community of women and men who share a lot in common around food and life.

I hope you'll join me in this kitchen and let me know what's cooking with you.

A Cup of Kindness

Open Heart Project


How shall my garden grow?



Day 3

If my body doesn’t need food right now, what is it that wants to be filled? What’s it for? What’s the meaning of it?



What brought me here? What’s in this for me? What is the ideal that I’m aiming for? What do I care about? What are the interpretations that I’m in? What’s missing?



What is my gift? What do I want to annihilate? Can I have a conversation with it? What is it about me that I accept, but I don’t yet love? What am I?



Is this my food?



What compels me to do this today? What fire burns in me? What are my enemies of learning? What’s the cost of avoiding learning? How do I ask for help?



What gift am I really? If I was not around, what would be missing for the rest of them?



What are my assessments? About me, my family, work, my body, relationships beyond my family, finances, spirituality, learning, citizenship in the world, play, elders? What do these assessments say about the predictions I am making for my future?



What keeps me from being gorgeous? What would make me good enough? Where do I want to serve?



What kind of life is a good life for me? What possibilities are opening?



What am I afraid of? Why worry? How does worry benefit me?



What feeds me? What would I tell the child that I was about her future?



Have I given myself permission to be gorgeous? What will it take? What am I learning?


Love & Light,


Photos of produce from my favorite farm-to-table, vegetarian restaurant, Chase’s Daily in Belfast, Maine.

6 Comments to How shall my garden grow?

  1. dana's Gravatar dana
    September 19, 2012 at 9:31 am | Permalink

    Oh, honey, these are all very, very good questions. And as one intuitive to another, you ARE gorgeous. And I know my saying that will not convince you. <3 Since April I have been "convelescing", as Roger puts it. Sometimes I just sit still or lie in bed, there have been days and days like that. Nothing comes to me, I feel nothing, except maybe sadness.

    It is all part of the process. Life has changed, it will never be what it was. What does the future hold? So we sit and wait for the Spirit to inform us, what is the next step? We move at glacier speed. And that is ok, because like glass, we are not ever still. We are moving, if seemingly imperceptibly. And there will be revelations, some have started for me, they have for you, too. Those are the ups. The downs are horrible, but they too are part of the processing, the letting go,the not letting go yet! No! I am NOT ready to let go of THAT! Yet. You know.

    I love you and am so grateful for you and all you have added to my life for so many years.

    I hate sounding trite! But there it is.
    Sending you LOVE, my dearest Valerie,

  2. September 19, 2012 at 2:02 pm | Permalink

    ah my dear, that was a stroke of genius, or inspired sitting still.
    Inspiring to formulate my own questions along those lines- my response as well was, “you are gorgeous”:

    And then, on the other side, are the words in my mind: in the big scheme of life and the cosmos, the difference our sandcorn self makes on the planet, unless we set out to “save” it big time, is so minimal, that I often prefer the idea:
    letting go of that “self” altogether.
    Just read that today in CS Lwis; so its fresh.

    Always achalenge to read your cupness
    Much love sweet soul

  3. Myra TAte's Gravatar Myra TAte
    September 19, 2012 at 3:26 pm | Permalink

    sitting and listening and hearing and watching – responding with an open mind andxoxoxomom an open heart – takes courage and commitment – I know you – you have the strength to ask the questions and recognize the answers – xoxoxomom

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