My new mantra: If not today… when? And the answer is: Never. So, it must be today.
I’m completely clear. I have no doubts whatsoever. I was happiest when I was neutral about food. I was neutral about food when I had the cleanest possible abstinence. I was interested in the world beyond my own plate. I felt good about myself and was sincerely available to others.
For me, the only way to get to the cleanest possible abstinence is to go through it. The cleanest possible abstinence is from flour, sugar (including alcohol), and quantities. It’s achieved by the continuous habit of weighing and measuring three meals a day with nothing in between.
Creating any habit is very hard for me. It’s especially hard when I feel well so quickly. My cunning mind says, it’s done… you did it… now have a sweet, my sweet.
So, just for today, I will pick up and use all the tools of my 12-step program… for which I am so grateful. I will mentally prepare, surrender completely, and ask for help. I will weigh and measure my food to “point zero zero.” I will have some fun and get enough rest.
I will aim for Recovery.
This worked for me yesterday, so I am going to do the same thing again today. I am making progress, thank you G-d.
Thank you, all, for your understanding.
Love & Light,
Valerie
sweet Valerie. As I am not sure whether you read my replies. Shorthand today. What is “neutral about food”?
When I prepare something real good, like veggies from my garden, yam, the green beans are sweet with the sunshine and the red of the tomatoes jumps enticingly into my kitchen window- from where I sit; every bite, swooshed around many times in the mouth until all the differnt flavors have been gratefully acknowledged and savored. I have recommended my “banana in the morning plus a glass of water” , first thing, to some sweet lovers, they tell me it helps.love was thinking of you . Where you without electric for a while, too? We were fortunate this time in my neck of the woods.
still hoping you come visit one day our beautiful Shenandoah Potomac valley
nicola
Hello Nicola,
Oh, yes! I read and enjoy and respond to all of your posts. I’ll write back to you via email to let you know.
Neutral about food for me means enjoyment without intoxication. Gratitude without grasping. Pleasure without addiction.
We would love to visit you soon. Let’s make a date!
Love & Light,
Valerie
Congratulations, Valerie! You are on the right track again. You have been in my thoughts and prayers and I knew that with help, all things are possible for you. Take care and keep weighing and counting.
Theolyn
Thank you, Theolyn! You are so kind and thoughtful. I’m very, very grateful.
Love & Light,
Valerie