This is the kitchen where we talk about food, life, and recovery—a spiritual path to healing and peace.

You are invited to keep coming back to A Cup of Kindness to share your experience, strength and hope; fears, doubts and insecurities; and to pick up information, inspiration … and have a little fun!

My story
In January 2007, at the age of 51, I joined a 12-step program and began my recovery from food addiction, losing 75 pounds in the process. Read more…

In January 2011, at the age of 55, I began my recovery from a multi-trauma accident, 36 fractures, damaged lungs, and post traumatic stress. Read more…

I am deeply grateful for all the kindnesses, large and small, offered to me in recovery. Here I am... alive… still making progress … still not perfect … finding a new way forward in a growing community of women and men who share a lot in common around food and life.

I hope you'll join me in this kitchen and let me know what's cooking with you.

A Cup of Kindness

Open Heart Project


If not today…

yellow tomatoes


My new mantra: If not today… when? And the answer is: Never. So, it must be today.

I’m completely clear. I have no doubts whatsoever. I was happiest when I was neutral about food. I was neutral about food when I had the cleanest possible abstinence. I was interested in the world beyond my own plate. I felt good about myself and was sincerely available to others.

For me, the only way to get to the cleanest possible abstinence is to go through it. The cleanest possible abstinence is from flour, sugar (including alcohol), and quantities. It’s achieved by the continuous habit of weighing and measuring three meals a day with nothing in between.

Creating any habit is very hard for me. It’s especially hard when I feel well so quickly. My cunning mind says, it’s done… you did it… now have a sweet, my sweet.

So, just for today, I will pick up and use all the tools of my 12-step program… for which I am so grateful. I will mentally prepare, surrender completely, and ask for help. I will weigh and measure my food to “point zero zero.” I will have some fun and get enough rest.

I will aim for Recovery.

This worked for me yesterday, so I am going to do the same thing again today. I am making progress, thank you G-d.

Thank you, all, for your understanding.

Love & Light,


4 Comments to If not today…

  1. nicola's Gravatar nicola
    July 8, 2012 at 10:50 am | Permalink

    sweet Valerie. As I am not sure whether you read my replies. Shorthand today. What is “neutral about food”?
    When I prepare something real good, like veggies from my garden, yam, the green beans are sweet with the sunshine and the red of the tomatoes jumps enticingly into my kitchen window- from where I sit; every bite, swooshed around many times in the mouth until all the differnt flavors have been gratefully acknowledged and savored. I have recommended my “banana in the morning plus a glass of water” , first thing, to some sweet lovers, they tell me it helps.love was thinking of you . Where you without electric for a while, too? We were fortunate this time in my neck of the woods.
    still hoping you come visit one day our beautiful Shenandoah Potomac valley

  2. Theolyn's Gravatar Theolyn
    July 8, 2012 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    Congratulations, Valerie! You are on the right track again. You have been in my thoughts and prayers and I knew that with help, all things are possible for you. Take care and keep weighing and counting.


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