A Cup of Kindness - Menus and meditations on a weighed and measured life

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This is the kitchen where we talk about food, life, and recovery—a spiritual path to healing and peace.

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You are invited to keep coming back to A Cup of Kindness to share your experience, strength and hope; fears, doubts and insecurities; and to pick up information, inspiration … and have a little fun!

My story
In January 2007, at the age of 51, I joined a 12-step program and began my recovery from food addiction, losing 75 pounds in the process. Read more…

In January 2011, at the age of 55, I began my recovery from a multi-trauma accident, 36 fractures, damaged lungs, and post traumatic stress. Read more…

I am deeply grateful for all the kindnesses, large and small, offered to me in recovery. Here I am... alive… still making progress … still not perfect … finding a new way forward in a growing community of women and men who share a lot in common around food and life.

I hope you'll join me in this kitchen and let me know what's cooking with you.

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September 22, 2012

Dance

Day 6 of Continuing Recovery

Thank you, G-d, there is dance. And it is available to everyone. Even if all I can do is notice the movement of energy inside me, dance is there.

In 2007 was introduced to the 5Rhythms practice of dance through a weekend workshop at Kripalu in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. I loved it, but I didn’t pursue it. Occasionally I would revisit it at home for a few minutes here or there.

My coaching training in 2010 through Newfield Network reinvigorated a passion for dance. I had great plans for staying in my body.

A few short days after graduating from Newfield, the January 2011 accident happened. For many months, my body was both absent and painfully close. As I began to recover I thought, well, I have lost my chance. No more dance for me.

Finally, the draw was too much. Last night I set out for a 5Rhythms dance practice with the intention to be with whatever was there for me. It turned out that there was a lot there. As I began to dance there was comparing — my body can do this now which it couldn’t do a year ago; what it could do two years ago that it can’t do now. There was sadness and pain and frustration. I felt so stuck in this identity as the terrible accident survivor, the one who is still in trauma.

As the waves of rhythm coursed over me and I danced to them, there was a shift. I began to pray to the rhythm and the element it met.

Flowing rhythm – Mother Earth – Creatress – this is your daughter Valerie. Please fill me with what I need.

Staccato rhythm – yes – no – fire – this is your daughter Valerie. Please fill me with what I need.

Chaos rhythm – G-d – Creator – water – this is your daughter Valerie. Please fill me with what I need.

Lyrical rhythm – air – lightness – this is your daughter Valerie. Please fill me with what I need.

Stillness rhythm – Spirit – ether – this is your daughter Valerie. Please fill me with what I need.

Gradually, over two hours, grief came to me; and also compassion for others. The more I danced, the more I was aware of beauty, gratitude, healing, inspiration, love, meditation, Nature, peace, and yoga… union of body, Spirit, and community. I understood that I was dancing as a prayer for liberation.

G-d was in the house.

On the way home, food craving came up… and quickly faded away. I knew I was going home to bed, not to eat. Thank you, G-d.

Love & Light,

Valerie

Here is a 30 minute program about 5Rhythms and its teacher, Gabrielle Roth. In the video, you’ll see how a class works. The practice I attended last night was not a class. It was just practice.

Photo of Deva Nandan.

Categories: Gratitude, Health, Inspiration, Love, Meditation, Nature, Peace, Recovery, Trauma, Yoga | 6 Comments

September 21, 2012

Planting the Seeds

Japanese Garden Tatton Park

life is a garden,
not a road

we enter and exit
through the same gate

wandering,
where we go matters less
than what we notice

~ Bokonon ~

Day 5 of Continuing Recovery

Today, I am teaching myself a new way of talking about my body… choosing words with positive connotations.

I’m calling my left leg “my left leg” — not weak. While I’m walking, my left leg is learning from my right leg how to reach out, strike with my heel first, and how to build muscle while stepping up and pushing off with my left gluteal muscle and left quads.

I’m calling my right leg “my right leg” — not asleep or numb or wooden or tight. My right leg is learning from my left leg how to feel the floor, stand on my toes, and balance.

So, each leg is a teacher and a learner. My body feels happier this way and more inclined to practice continually.

Similarly, I’m noticing the effects of my food-life thoughts and words on my actions and habits.

I am planting the seeds I would like to grow within the garden of my consciousness… gratitude, love, liberation and peace.

Love & Light,

Valerie

Categories: Food, Gratitude, Love, Peace | 4 Comments

September 20, 2012

Eggplant Experiment

Day 4 of Continuing Recovery

In honor of my beautiful sponsor, here is my riff on a chef Dave Lieberman idea. I’ve taken his Individual Lasagnas Recipe and will make them into weighed and measured Ratatouille Lasagnas… without the noodles, of course… and with some fresh herbs from the jars in my fridge.

First, I’ll roughly chop 2 onions, mince 4 garlic cloves, and cut up 1 large zucchini, 1 large yellow squash and 1 small eggplant into 1 inch pieces.

In my large grill pan, I’ll saute the onions and garlic in olive oil until soft. Next, I’ll add 2 teaspoons dried oregano, a bit of salt, a shake of chili flakes, and black pepper.

Then, I’ll toss in the veggie pieces and cook them for about 10 minutes.

Next, I’ll add chopped tomatoes from a 28 ounce can (enough so the mixture is like a thick stew, not a soup). I’ll let the veggies cook for another 5 minutes or so, until they are tender but firm. This is when I’ll add fresh herbs — a small bunch of roughly chopped parsley. Fresh thyme and fresh basil would be good, too.

There will be 2 cups ricotta ready to go with a bit of salt and freshly ground black pepper; and 8 ounces shredded mozzarella.

I’ll preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Then we get to assemble the individual portions. (Or you could put them altogether in one pan if that’s your preference.)

I’ll put a mini foil baking pan on my food scale and weigh a couple spoonfuls of sauce onto the bottom with a layer of veggies. Then I’ll add ricotta and repeat once more; with a layer of shredded mozzarella on top. So, for me that will be a total of 6 ounces of veggies (including the sauce) and 2 ounces of ricotta with 1 ounce of mozzarella.

The lasagnas will go on a baking sheet to catch any dripping cheese; and bake for about 30 minutes when they should be bubbly and brown on top.

Picture of Individual Lasagnas Recipe

Then we offer a prayer of thanks and eat. Yum!

I hope it works!!

Love & Light,

Valerie

Categories: Food, Fun, Gratitude, Recipes, Recovery | 5 Comments

September 19, 2012

How shall my garden grow?

Day 3

If my body doesn’t need food right now, what is it that wants to be filled? What’s it for? What’s the meaning of it?

What brought me here? What’s in this for me? What is the ideal that I’m aiming for? What do I care about? What are the interpretations that I’m in? What’s missing?

What is my gift? What do I want to annihilate? Can I have a conversation with it? What is it about me that I accept, but I don’t yet love? What am I?

Is this my food?

What compels me to do this today? What fire burns in me? What are my enemies of learning? What’s the cost of avoiding learning? How do I ask for help?

What gift am I really? If I was not around, what would be missing for the rest of them?

What are my assessments? About me, my family, work, my body, relationships beyond my family, finances, spirituality, learning, citizenship in the world, play, elders? What do these assessments say about the predictions I am making for my future?