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This is the kitchen where we talk about food, life, and recovery—a spiritual path to healing and peace.

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You are invited to keep coming back to A Cup of Kindness to share your experience, strength and hope; fears, doubts and insecurities; and to pick up information, inspiration … and have a little fun!

My story
In January 2007, at the age of 51, I joined a 12-step program and began my recovery from food addiction, losing 75 pounds in the process. Read more…

In January 2011, at the age of 55, I began my recovery from a multi-trauma accident, 36 fractures, damaged lungs, and post traumatic stress. Read more…

I am deeply grateful for all the kindnesses, large and small, offered to me in recovery. Here I am... alive… still making progress … still not perfect … finding a new way forward in a growing community of women and men who share a lot in common around food and life.

I hope you'll join me in this kitchen and let me know what's cooking with you.

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Pieces of my heart

I want to keep growing and becoming a happier more loving person.

Recently I was spiraling down into a place where I was feeling very badly about my self as a person. I was even criticizing my Inner Critic.

It’s begun to dawn on me that I could be in a better relationship to pieces of my heart that I’ve rejected, criticized, suppressed, and tried to control, due to my fear, doubt, insecurity, delusion, denial, resentment, and ignorance.

Roses have thorns and so do I.

I want to welcome all my thorns to the party. I want offer them unconditional love. I want to be in relationship with them in a mature way. I want to see them for what they are, listen to them for what they have to say, validate their existence and points of view, affirm their right to exist, and empathize with their pain. I want to request forgiveness.

So here are the aspects of my self that I will begin praying to restore with integrity to my whole self.

The aspects of my self that I want to welcome and love unconditionally include:

• The one who criticizes my self
• The one who has an addictive relationship to food
• The one who wears masks
• The one who sometimes lies, is thoughtless, and hurtful
• The one who says I’m not good enough, I’m flawed, I’m too sensitive, I have poor discernment for the character of other people
• The one who says I put myself in harm’s way, I’ve left myself unprotected, I haven’t paid attention to warning signals.
• The one who is all about fixing systems, situations, and people
• The one who says I deprive myself of emotional security and peace of mind
• The one whose heart hurts when I’m corrected
• The one who is distressed over situations and people that I can’t do anything about

I’m going to go for the goodness, for healing and compassion – towards my self first.

And when I find that I’m in fear, doubt, insecurity, delusion, denial, resentment, and/or ignorance, I hope I will remember to love those aspects of my self.

As a practice, I will develop an energy field at a depth of two feet all around me. I will pat it into place and fill it with rainbow glitter. I’ll root to the center of the earth through my belly button. And I’ll choose to be in situations where kindness is more likely to persist.

Love and Light,

Valerie

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