Day 41 of continuing recovery

Every morning for the past week, I have gotten up at 5am, put on clothes, gone to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, walked the dog, looked at the sky, come inside, made a cup of decaf coffee, knelt, bowed three times, said prayers, and sat for 30 minutes of Quiet Time.

I use some of the techniques of Insight Meditation or Vipassana. However, for me, Quiet Time is not as rigorous as a regular meditation practice. I allow myself to change position, open my eyes, or have a sip of coffee.

I sit cross-legged on the sofa. It’s a very firm, upright sofa. With a small pillow under the back of my behind and a small pillow at the small of my back, my posture is erect and my hips are slightly higher than my knees. My hands rest in my lap, right hand cradling the left (for men it is the reverse), thumbs touching lightly. When a certain readiness occurs, my eyes gently close and I bring a small smile to my mouth.

I remind myself, there is Light in this room. There are friends here. (Gregory is asleep in the bedroom. Miranda the labradoodle is beside me.) I request, “May all beings be well, happy and peaceful.” I check my list and hold certain people and situations in the Light.

I bring bare attention to the touching sensation of breath at the nostrils… again, and again, and again, and again. Each time I notice I’ve left the breath, I bring it back to the touching sensation of breath at the nostrils. It’s simple, but not always easy. When I awake to having left the breath, I notice my thumbs are no longer touching and my attention has usually gone to planning for the future. It could be the future of 30 minutes from now… or 30 years from now. Sometimes, it’s the past. If thoughts keep arising, I may note them with one word, such as memory, fantasy, planning, imagination, or judgment.

My intention is to just observe. I notice where my mind wants to attach good or bad or story to what happens in Quiet Time; re-minding myself that it’s just about observing; and anything that’s observed changes.

From time to time, consciously, I chose to follow my attention from the breath into the body with an attitude of loving curiosity. There’s the breath at the nostrils; the right knee calls with a twinge of pain; there’s a subtle twitching in the left calf. Gradually I begin to feel a circulating energy, then pulsations, moving from one rhythm into another. Back to the breath. Inevitably, after 20 minutes, some insight arises. A surprising thought. An ah-ha moment.

When I take Quiet Time every day, I experience my life with more gratitude and discernment.

Thank you to the founders of our 12 step recovery program for food addiction who understood the importance of this tool for tapping into the wisdom of the body and living in Reality.

Love & Light,

Valerie