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This is the kitchen where we talk about food, life, and recovery—a spiritual path to healing and peace.

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You are invited to keep coming back to A Cup of Kindness to share your experience, strength and hope; fears, doubts and insecurities; and to pick up information, inspiration … and have a little fun!

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In January 2007, at the age of 51, I joined a 12-step program and began my recovery from food addiction, losing 75 pounds in the process. Read more…

In January 2011, at the age of 55, I began my recovery from a multi-trauma accident, 36 fractures, damaged lungs, and post traumatic stress. Read more…

I am deeply grateful for all the kindnesses, large and small, offered to me in recovery. Here I am... alive… still making progress … still not perfect … finding a new way forward in a growing community of women and men who share a lot in common around food and life.

I hope you'll join me in this kitchen and let me know what's cooking with you.

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Wabi-sabi

Vase and paperwhites from Jenny. Photo by Gregory.

 

Just now, this morning, Gregory pointed out to me that I had splashed water on the kitchen floor and kindly suggested that I clean it up.

I pulled off some paper towels and, as I gawkily got myself down onto the floor, I thought of Piper Laurie playing Paul Newman’s sad, doomed, crippled, beautiful girlfriend in the movie masterpiece, The Hustler. How was it that her character was so beautiful, even with her withered leg and her sadness?

Then I thought of the small vase and paperwhites that my neighbor Jenny brought to us on Wednesday – the anniversary of my accident. Jenny, her husband and young daughters lived in Japan before moving to our neighborhood. She has a beautiful collection of Japanese furniture and decorative objects. I couldn’t take my eyes off the vase and flowers for a long time. What was it that was so beautiful about this simple arrangement, with a leaf hanging down one side?

The response that came to me was wabi-sabi. Wabi-sabi is the Japanese aesthetic from Buddhist teaching that there is beauty to be found in imperfection and impermanence… if it brings about in us a peaceful yearning, a spiritual leading.

In 2011, my body and mind experienced a shattering so strong that I am still aware of my imperfection and impermanence moment by moment, every day and throughout the night.

When I worry about my food life and my future body and mind life, my good 12-step friend says I am not to be afraid. G-d is with me. G-d’s arm is around me. There is no abyss… only the path to liberation.

My clumsiness getting to the floor in my no-longer-graceful body reminds me of imperfection and impermanence. So, my limp may be the most beautiful thing about me.

Love & Light,

Valerie

4 Comments to Wabi-sabi

  1. Betsy's Gravatar Betsy
    January 20, 2012 at 11:46 pm | Permalink

    The most striking thing about this tale to me is that Gregory can so easily tell you to clean up the water. I’m not real good making my wishes known to my spouse.

    As for imperfection please let me join you in recognizing that spiritual longing is fueled by imperfection and addiction, or is it the other way around? and thus can lead us home.

  2. Betsy's Gravatar Betsy
    January 22, 2012 at 8:54 pm | Permalink

    A direct path to the kitchen! No stopping, no thinking, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Straight to prison I go with my cuppa in the name of enjoyment and sharing with others. I hear God whisper to me, but not usually when I long to eat.

    This is a skill worth developing and will take a concentrated effort to listen for the call to quiet time on my way to the eats. To be light and airy like the angels watching over.

    L&L B

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