Malawi photo by Dana. Coffee cherries?
This morning I had wonderful conversations with three 12 step fellows. The theme for me was why choose abstinence (three weighed and measured meals a day, nothing in between, no flour or sugar) and why commit to the program (abstinence, quiet time, prayer, readings, phone calls and meetings).
Gradually, my thoughts cleared as my friends shared their wisdom.
Yes. I want to stay in a right-size healthy body. I want to feel great in my clothes. I want to walk into a room full of people and not compare myself to everyone there… just feeling comfortable with who I am.
More than my weight and my clothes I want to strengthen a connection with the Divine.
I’ve had the experience of complete and utter dis-connection. When my body and mind were shattered by the accident nearly one year ago, the loss of connection with my Self, Others, and the Divine was so painful, I was in Hell.
I hope I never forget that suffering… and the way out of that suffering. The way out was the spontaneous arising of the Serenity Prayer and from that, a meaning for what was happening to me. The meaning was that, as others were praying for me, there was a filling of a great need in our world for love, kindness and compassion.
So, on a daily basis, when I am choosing abstinence and following my committed path, I feel the warm embrace of the Divine. Practicing the freedom from addiction clears my mind and purifies my heart so that I can enjoy the abiding, unconditional Love and Light that surrounds us.
I am grateful to my fellows, to program and to G-d for these gifts.
Love & Light,
Valerie
Where is the divine in my life today after again deciding that moderation is the sanest form of virtue in my life? If I never experience size six eight can I still find exhilaration walking into a room?
The bingeing and the spiritual connection do not coexist in my body at the conscious level. I do not experience god while bingeing or crawling away from a binge.
People and food do coexist happily in my life. Food is a celebration of sharing. It is a slippery slope when food is at the center of love but I believe that moderation is possible. This is why I have not been able to surrender completely to a more revolutionary plan of eating. If I come it will be gradual and voluntary and will allow me the freedom to choose without guilt.
I love your blog and will keep coming back. My only comment is that I was not able to return to your recent entries without getting out and coming back in.
L&L B
Dear B,
Thank you for your Comment. It’s feeding me.
Discovering the “sanest form of virtue” sounds like a most worthy endeavor. Perhaps THE most worthy endeavor – a path to the Divine. Your words give new meaning to the point of freedom from addiction.
I like food and people coexisting with the Divine as a celebration of sharing, too. And yet, as you point out, it’s so easy to put the food first and more challenging to keep the people as the center of love. Why is that?
Weighing and measuring is not the way for everybody. For me, I get long periods of time without craving. So, I have the freedom to choose what I eat without guilt… most of the time. Other times, it’s a hard path.
Doing the hard thing can be a joy, too. I get it now, why people climb mountains. The view from the top is pretty exhilarating.
Lots of thoughts this morning. Now, I need to get into the body with a little yoga.
Have a happy day!
Love & Light,
Valerie