Yesterday, I attended an inspiring fundraising luncheon where I heard a young woman speak about her challenging life and the progress she’s making. At one point she said simply, “I’m grateful for my hardships. They have been the way to transformation.” Amazing.
These days my hardships or challenges are more about recovering from food addiction than recovering from traumatic physical injuries.
I ate a dessert at the luncheon. It was off my 12-step program for food addiction. I got in the car to go home and turned on the radio. There was a news story about a politician who was sentenced that day to 3 years in prison for graft. He had used his position to steal thousands of dollars intended for youth programs. He said, “Somehow. . . I lost my moral compass. I went astray and lost my way.”
That’s what it feels like when I roam off the path of the 12-step program I’ve chosen for myself. I’ve lost my abstinence. I’ve lost my moral compass. I’ve gone astray and lost my way. I’ve lost confidence in myself.
I had that one small dessert and for the rest of the day I was seeking out flour and sugar to eat. I wasn’t even hungry, but my addiction kicked up to full force. I realized how I got to my top weight of 250 pounds. That’s the way I ate all the time… going from one sweet to another… intoxicating myself with my drug.
After I listened to the radio program, I remembered times in my work life when an ethical dilemma presented itself. During those times I went to the Four Noble Truths and compared my choices to the guidelines offered by the Buddha. Any inner conflict was quickly resolved. I stayed in alignment with my values and chose the right way.
What if I used those tenets to help me stay on the straight path in my food life? Every time I’m tempted to stray I could ask myself questions according to the Four Noble Truths.
Here are the Four Noble Truths from my limited knowledge.
One: Life isn’t perfect. There is suffering, as in dissatisfaction, anxiety, and stress.
Two: Suffering starts with craving. Craving can be a good thing. It can lead us into growth. However, it can reverse us from strength to weakness. Craving can leads us into seeking delight here and there, grasping, aversion, striving, intoxication and addiction.
Three: The cessation of suffering is possible. It comes with the fading away and cessation of craving, the giving up and relinquishing of it, freedom from it, non-reliance on it.
Four: The way leading to the cessation of suffering is the Eightfold Path. Right Understanding and Right Thought allow us to cultivate wisdom. Right Speech, Right Action and Right Livelihood allow us to cultivate ethical behavior. Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration allow us to cultivate mental discipline.
Last night, I moved towards a banana that wasn’t on my program. I asked myself, is this for nourishment or intoxication? Am I thinking about it and understanding it honestly? Will eating it be an ethical, disciplined behavior? Suddenly, it only took a small effort to walk away.
The Four Noble Truths give me the guidelines to match my actions to my intentions, to live in alignment with my values, to live in a right-size body, to be happy, joyous and free.
I also need to write down my food every evening for the next day, go to meetings, make phone calls, do my Quiet Time, say my prayers, and eat three weighed and measured meals a day, no flour, no sugar and nothing in between.
Here’s a poem by Wun-Men about living in the Four Noble Truths.
Ten thousand flowers in spring
the moon in autumn,
a cool breeze in summer,
snow in winter.
If your mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things,
this is the best season of your life.
Thank you, G-d, for my hardships. They are leading me to transformation.
Love & Light,
Valerie
I adore you Valerie. Your honesty and willingness to share such a personal journey is astounding.
Bless you, Kathryn!! Thank you. I adore you, too, Songbird! Love & Light, Valerie
Such a clear path. The thought that taking care of oneself leads to a secure moral compass that makes life lighter and freer, inspires me. I’m all for taking that journey. mom
Thanks, Mom! You just said in one sentence what took me that whole post to say. Clear and concise. Very helpful. Love & Light, Valerie
Valerie, I couldn’t agree more with Kathryn. Every single time I read about your journey it gives me added strength. I’m sending that strength back to you in the form of positive thoughts and prayers for your well being. Your honesty is inspirational, just like the rest of you! Love you my friend.
Thank you so much, Terri. I love you, too. And I keep thinking that I’ll get to see you soon. Hooray! Love & Light, Valerie