This is the kitchen where we talk about food, life, and recovery—a spiritual path to healing and peace.

You are invited to keep coming back to A Cup of Kindness to share your experience, strength and hope; fears, doubts and insecurities; and to pick up information, inspiration … and have a little fun!

My story
In January 2007, at the age of 51, I joined a 12-step program and began my recovery from food addiction, losing 75 pounds in the process. Read more…

In January 2011, at the age of 55, I began my recovery from a multi-trauma accident, 36 fractures, damaged lungs, and post traumatic stress. Read more…

I am deeply grateful for all the kindnesses, large and small, offered to me in recovery. Here I am... alive… still making progress … still not perfect … finding a new way forward in a growing community of women and men who share a lot in common around food and life.

I hope you'll join me in this kitchen and let me know what's cooking with you.

A Cup of Kindness

Open Heart Project



Gobekli Female Figure


For a long time I’ve thought that the same thing that makes me a food addict would have made me a successful cavewoman. When I am not in Recovery, and food is in the vicinity… or even the thought of food, especially food that would add protective layers, my rational mind goes to sleep, and my instinctual mind homes in on eating that food. It feels like I have to eat that food or I might die.

Here’s my theory about what’s happening in my brain when food calls to the cavewoman in me.

I’m with my tribe. I’m using my prefrontal cortex to tend the fire and to be in community. The prefrontal cortex is where I make decisions. It’s what makes me human. It gives me focus and concentration. It’s where I learn to grow and develop.

I catch a whiff of something to eat. That signal goes to the reptilian part of my brain. The reptilian brain does not discern. It is vigilant for survival opportunities. It tells me to run from a lion and it tells me to find and eat that food. It gives me no choice. It shuts down the part of my brain that is focusing on tending the fire or paying attention to a mate. It is irresistible. It is powerful. It is fight, flight, freeze, or eat. There is a deep groove in my brain for survival that finds food magnetic.

I certainly understand the value of the reptilian brain. When I was a child, my instincts for food as comfort kept fear at bay and calmed me down. When I was severely injured in an accident, my reptilian brain kept me alert, telling everyone what to do until I knew there was enough help on the scene.

But I no longer need extra food to help me survive emotionally. I only need enough of the right food to keep me physically healthy. My happiness, peace, and serenity come with being clean with my food — what we call “abstinent.” It’s eating addictively that makes me miserable.

In Recovery, I am training the reptilian brain and using its affinity for ritual, ceremony, conformity and obedience to observe the situation differently, thereby choosing different actions, and achieving the results I want and need physically, mentally and spiritually.

My 12-step program for food addiction gives me the tools and all the support I need to help the reptilian brain to recognize what is survival for me now. I do my 1% and the rest is done for me. I am grateful beyond words.

Love & Light,


4 Comments to Cavewoman

  1. David Wilson's Gravatar David Wilson
    December 26, 2014 at 9:46 pm | Permalink

    What a wonderful and clear bit of writing and I find it very helpful as my recovery is a bit rocky at present. Have just been on the phone with my brother discussing alternative ways to deal with my bad reactions to my meds and we were discussing our H-gene which makes us both allergic to many medications so your article on line was very appropriate at this time

  2. David Wilson's Gravatar David Wilson
    December 27, 2014 at 9:14 pm | Permalink

    at this point me brother, a chiropractic internist (both degrees) is my source as he has pretty much proven this through our family. The H-gene is inherited only from the mother. It is a deficient gene inherited from the Ashkenazi and though our family history does not speak of Jewish ancestors I wouldn’t doubt we probably have them. The gene makes it difficult for the body to accept contemporary medicines, and accounts for about 22% of modern peoples who consistently claim to not be able to take most medicines and hence refute their Doctor’s treatment as it makes them ill. He is very knowledgeable on this and is currently attending workshops and seminars on genetic inheritance, which I understand is the current hot thing in the healing arts. I cannot put you in touch with him as he is family and much he tells me is only for my ears. However I would think if you would google any of the key words too would probably find info on line. My entire family has a terrible history of the inability to process modern chemical medicine, and I am having a real problem with my stroke meds which tend to be thought of as useful for anyone with a stroke which we all know is not true of anything,as we are all individual and not everything works for all of us.It is the reason, he feels, that so many folks will not follow their doctors orders, or keep looking at other solutions, which can also be harmful


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