I used to think that I would feel more confident if I was thin, married, financially secure, dressed correctly, and especially if I was successful at work.
And yet, the only way I’ve ever really felt more confident is by doing the next right thing, one step at a time.
The only way I’ve ever been able to do the next right thing, one step at a time, is to greet my fear with compassion and to ask for help.
I greet you fear. You are my friend, trying to keep me safe. You have helped me in the past. This time, you can take a rest. This time, my help will come from a different place.
Today, I find help in my Higher Power, my husband, my family and friends, my healers, my teachers, my 12 step food addict fellows, and my dog.
I’m very grateful to the many people (and animals) who are helping others to see their own Divine spark.
A special thank you to my photographer friend Tamzin Smith who helps women to see their inner Light; and to my stylist friend Naina Singla who helps women to adorn themselves as a reflection of their own unique Spirit.
Tamzin and I went out to lunch yesterday and she took this picture of me. I had shopped my closet, with Naina’s advice in my mind. She has said, “You can wear brown and black together. Elevate your look with a belt, jewelry, and a scarf. Enhance your outfit with a third color, or a print, or texture. Add interest by layering with a jeans jacket, a blazer or cardigan. Less is more. Go for quality.”
While I may have missed the mark on the “less is more,” the outfit doesn’t matter as much as the confidence it gave me to take the next right step. I asked for help and I took the risk. I got creative. I had fun!
Today I’m happy, grateful and confident.
Love & Light,
Valerie
Valerie –
What a wonderful spring outfit! You look like you are having a lot of fun with this project, and I’ve really enjoyed seeing the series of pics over at FB.
You can wear brown with black?! Wow, I worry about wearing anything but brown shoes with my (blue) jeans … not a risk taker, I know. But there you are, looking all confident and stylish in your complementary colors. Thanks for the inspiration!
I also like how you’ve thought about this experience in the context of your larger life journey. I want to remember your greeting next time fear drops by for a visit.
Happy May,
Em
Hi Em,
Thank you for the compliments and the feedback about putting the “experience in the context of my larger life journey.”
Yes, I am having fun with shopping my closet; and I can tell it’s a practice. Each day I take the step and go for the creativity I find more out about myself.
Yes, it turns out that you CAN wear brown with black! Who knew?
Happy May to you, too.
Love & Light,
Valerie
Yes love brown and black together. {http://www.style-n-naina.com/stylen/2013/1/14/style-tip-wearing-black-and-brown-together.html }xx
I love how the brown on your hat coordinates with the shoes. Great look!
Thanks, Naina.
You are helping my world to get a bit bigger and a lot more fun!
Love & Light,
Valerie
Valerie –
When I was working, I got into the habit of what someone described as “Zen dressing” – dressing for function and comfort, simple interchangeable pieces, simple interchangeable color palette – so you could dress in five minutes, in the dark if necessary. Which usually meant black pants and shell with a colored jacket and minimal (if any) jewelry.
Suited me just fine: I could sleep as late as possible, roll out the door with little fuss, and basically wake up at my desk (though at least once I noticed I was wearing one black shoe and one blue shoe). Couldn’t care less about accessorizing, that’s for sure.
Now that I can spend a little more time on me, and am finally in a normal-sized body, I find myself inclined to have a little fun. Scarves and necklaces seem to be my impulse buys these days … will have to practice, though, as I never much liked fussy things around my neck. But still, it’s fun and a confidence builder for sure!
– Em
Hi Em,
I like your “Zen dressing” for function and comfort. I think these are the “quality” pieces that I want to make sure my closet contains.
Just as you say, then the fun starts! I’m learning how to wear scarves. Necklaces are not so much my thing because “the weight of a dime” (according to one chiropractor) can throw my neck off kilter.
My challenge is to add enough sparkle for interest, but not too much that takes me OTT — over the top!
Love & Light,
Valerie
I know what you mean about not going OTT. Although I think it might be a little easier to get away with when you’re tall. We shorties have to be soooo careful not to lay it on!
Valerie,
You are beautiful inside and out, whether you are accessorized or not!!!! I love that I consider you my friend!!!
Shine on my dear friend, shine on!!!
XOXO,
Rachel
Hi Rachel, my friend!
You are making me smile! And shine! And I’m not even accessorized at the moment.
You shine, too!!
Love & Light,
Valerie
Wow you look so stylish! Valerie-this outfit looks simply stunning on you and what a gorgeous photo Tamzin took of you. I love this write up and my goal with all the women I work with is to help them find their signature style and truly be the best version of themselves. I believe women should feel confident and be stylish everyday! It has been a pleasure working with you and seeing you evolve and experiment with your style. {over just a few short weeks} -Naina
Dear Naina,
You are doing good work in the world. After I first met you, I said to Tamzin, “She’s so humble.”
You have this ability to accept and respect women where they are, and offer them some simple techniques to become more of who they are at their essence.
The way you carry yourself is an inspiration on its own.
I agree with you about the photo Tamzin took. She has a great way of seeing the light in the environment and in the person. I was a little nervous and then I just said to myself that I could turn the photography over to her. She would tell me what to do. I didn’t have to make any decisions.
Thanks for your kind words, especially about evolving and experimenting! Hopefully, to be continued.
Love & Light,
Valerie
Hello Valerie!
You are so right about fear — it showed up for a long time for me, in different ways and at different times. And until I could honor the message it had for me, I couldn’t work with it and through it. Now I can seek the help I need from people I trust.
It is great to see you stepping out “in style.” For me, it is really about uncovering your beauty and allowing others to see it, and then owning it yourself! I love Tamzin’s picture of you, and the confidence you are embodying. It’s not the clothes per se, it’s the person who is confident enough to wear them!
Can’t wait to see more from that closet you are shopping!
And thanks for sharing.
Alison
Hi Alison!
For so long I didn’t even know that what I was experiencing was fear. I just thought it was how life feels.
I like your “honor the message it had for me.” Interesting that you also find the solution to be asking for help from those you trust. Trust is so important to me, too. I have to remind myself to discern what’s for me and what’s not for me in the way of help.
You have such great style! I greatly appreciate your validation of my closet shopping!
Love & Light,
Valerie
love it all!
Thank you, my dear Sissy.
Love you.
V