This is the kitchen where we talk about food, life, and recovery—a spiritual path to healing and peace.

You are invited to keep coming back to A Cup of Kindness to share your experience, strength and hope; fears, doubts and insecurities; and to pick up information, inspiration … and have a little fun!

My story
In January 2007, at the age of 51, I joined a 12-step program and began my recovery from food addiction, losing 75 pounds in the process. Read more…

In January 2011, at the age of 55, I began my recovery from a multi-trauma accident, 36 fractures, damaged lungs, and post traumatic stress. Read more…

I am deeply grateful for all the kindnesses, large and small, offered to me in recovery. Here I am... alive… still making progress … still not perfect … finding a new way forward in a growing community of women and men who share a lot in common around food and life.

I hope you'll join me in this kitchen and let me know what's cooking with you.

A Cup of Kindness

Open Heart Project


Sadie, Sadie… Married Lady

I’m now a married lady! We really did it. Gregory and I married each other after 15 years together. And, in case you are wondering, it does feel different.

Would you like to know about the wedding?

Here’s Gregory sitting quietly in the Meeting House beforehand.

Here I am reclining in the Nest — a retreat space created by the women of our Marriage Care Committee — with members of my posse. Evelyn is doing my makeup. What a treat!

Gregory! No peeking!

My mother, Myra, and sister, Louise, enjoy a good hug.

Now that cousin Pattie and Ginny are here with Mom, we could spend the day just hanging out.

In the meantime, Gregory is greeting Kit’s husband Andy. Kit will be singing “Wild Mountain Thyme” at the beginning of the wedding.

My cousin Anne agrees with Evelyn that I need a last minute touch-up.

Ready to go. My about-to-be-official-sister-in-law prepares me with a kiss.

It’s a perfect day. Temp in the 70s, low humidity, blue sky, and no bugs!

Almost inside. After a hug from nephew Wesley, I get to hug nephew Stephen’s girl, the beautiful Ferelith.

And then the wedding.There are no photos of the wedding and no recording.

In the presence of God, attenders gathered together in the manner of Friends for meeting for worship and the marriage of Valerie Tate and Gregory Charles Arms.

We gathered in silence, believing “that of God” in each of us would lead to a direct experience of His will.

During the worship, Gregory and I took each other by the hand, and made our promises to one another before God, our families and friends. Then we signed our names to the marriage certificate which was read aloud by our dear, dear friend Maggie.

As the meeting settled back into the silence, all held us in the Light. Out of the silent worship, attenders were led to give spoken messages, with silence in between to allow others to dwell on the meaning of their messages.

Meeting for worship concluded after one hour and a reception began outside with music, food, flowers, smiles and joyful hugs abounding. More than 220 guests shared a lot of love!

First, it’s my niece Lauren and her uncle Gregory.

Monir and Ali.

Andrew and Cecelia.

Leslie and Kurt. Leslie wants to see the rings. Hooray! I get to show them off!


Ginny and Mike with Nancy and Howie close behind them.

Beth and Kaylan.



David is speaking to me in Spanish. Having just been hugging Ludmila I think David is speaking Russian. Oops.


Patrick, Richard and Gregory are enjoying a laugh. I’m absorbed in conversation with Alida and Perry.

Mama meets Clea and Agnes. Agnes designed the wedding program.

Roy. We are so happy for Roy. His play “Neitzsche Ate Here” is being made into a film!

Heather is happy for me when I see Matt and Marjorie in line. Matt helped us find our beloved attorneys, Indiano & Williams, in Puerto Rico. Matt and Marjorie host the most marvelous Passover every year.

Our grand-niece, Simone.

Wise words from Mom.

Girls are waiting for CAKE! It’s carrot cake and those fruits are made from marzipan with a filling of chopped figs, dates, nuts, and chocolate.

Caterer, yoga teacher and friend, Cathryn Gunnerson.


Long-time friend Susan… since 1972, I think.

Left to right – Linda, Pattie, John, Mom, Barry, Melanie and Charlie. Charlie was Gregory’s college roommate.

Galia, Sigfried and Maj.

Hoodlums! Tim and Emily, Steve and Kat, our brother-in-law Murray, Ferelith and Stephen.

Girlfriends Sasha and Davi.

The Marriage Certificate.

Bill, Jane, Barbara and Mark.

Longest-time friend Lauren in the red dress.

Nest builders Tanya and Nora.

Our beloved Indiano & Williams — David and Jo Indiano and Jeff and Ani Williams.

The gals who saved my life. Dr. Toni Lewis who made the critical call; the director of my trauma care Martha Baker, RN and the healer of my heart Diane Poirier, RN.

The rings, symbols of our love and commitment, nestled in my bouquet.

Now, Gregory and I just need to figure out where to go on our honeymoon. Any suggestions?

Love & Light,


22 Comments to Sadie, Sadie… Married Lady

  1. Myra Tate's Gravatar Myra Tate
    May 29, 2012 at 10:46 pm | Permalink

    Oh, how beautiful the bride – how handsome the groom – how wonderful a gathering – how delicious all the treats – and how powerful the love that infused every moment of this marvelous event. I’ll remember it forever. Mom/Myra

  2. Kit Emory's Gravatar Kit Emory
    May 29, 2012 at 11:05 pm | Permalink

    It was a day to cherish in all respects – beauty, spirit, perfect weather, lovely people, joyful hearts…. I will never forget it! Re: honeymoon – do you want to stay nearby or go far? I’ve got lots of suggestions!!! It’s really about what you both are looking for….

  3. Theolyn's Gravatar Theolyn
    May 29, 2012 at 11:18 pm | Permalink

    What a beautiful wedding!! The love that radiated in the room during the wedding was unbelievable. It was wonderful to hear all of the comments from your friends, family, neighbors- all people that love you dearly. I am so thankful that we were able to be there to be a part of and witness this very special occasion in your lives! Theolyn

  4. Francesca's Gravatar Francesca
    May 30, 2012 at 7:01 am | Permalink

    Dear Valerie,
    Your celebration certainly captured the essence of your beauty and the love you share with Gregory. You are indeed blessed and living in the light.
    Love you so,

  5. Terri's Gravatar Terri
    May 30, 2012 at 7:23 am | Permalink

    I have been telling everyone I know what a beautifully simple ceremony it was. The positive energy was palpable in the meeting house and the guests. I am so happy for both you and Gregory and my continued hope is that you will live a long and happy life together!
    Love and peace my friend!

  6. Dale & Dennis McCarthy's Gravatar Dale & Dennis McCarthy
    May 30, 2012 at 8:53 am | Permalink

    We are both so very happy to see the joy behind your smiling faces. You deserve the very best.

  7. Rachel's Gravatar Rachel
    May 30, 2012 at 10:04 am | Permalink

    Valerie (and Gregory even though I have yet to meet you),

    Mazal tov on what looked like an extraordinary day!!! I’m so happy, you both looked radiant in all the love and happiness that surrounded you both! May that day only be a taste of the wonders that are yet to come!!!

    Love Rachel

  8. Anne's Gravatar Anne
    May 30, 2012 at 5:24 pm | Permalink

    Congratulations Valerie and Gregory – it looks like you had a truly wonderful day with great weather, lovely food, fabulous friends and lots of love all around.
    Enjoy the decades to come and have a lot of fun together.

    In terms of honeymoon destinations – I’m sure I recall you talking about going to the Alps once Gregory had his hip fixed – might be too long a flight but put it on your list anyway!

    lots of love to you both

  9. Mary Jones-Bryant's Gravatar Mary Jones-Bryant
    May 30, 2012 at 11:01 pm | Permalink


  10. Kathryn's Gravatar Kathryn
    May 31, 2012 at 3:43 pm | Permalink

    Congratulations Valerie! You are such a beautiful bride. I wish you and your sweet Gregory a wonderful life together full of joy and partnership.

  11. dana's Gravatar dana
    July 10, 2012 at 7:36 am | Permalink

    Come to Eastport, Maine. <3 Loving wishes for you and Gregory, Darling!

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