Day 78 of continuing recovery

Putting my 12 step program for food addiction into action at the physical level leads me to a tremendous underground river of rhythmic practice. My habits of getting on my knees to pray; sitting still in Quiet Time; weighing, measuring, cooking and eating abstinent food with curiosity and pleasure; and hugging my fellows, all give me a physical experience of comfort. My body is healing, my confidence is growing, my sense of security and safety are strengthened.  Nice clothes fit me. I catch sight of my reflection and I feel happy.

In conversation with deepest wisdom and kindness, my Higher Power, that which I call G-d, my own honesty, understanding, wisdom and kindness are growing. As my relationship with G-d improves, my trust in myself and others grows. My thinking turns towards the positive and away from the negative. I am more optimistic. I gain more clarity. I make better decisions. I see truth, beauty and miracles all around me. I love the world. I am at peace.

When attending 12 step meetings and making outreach calls to my fellows, I learn how to be in relationship with all kinds of other people. I appreciate that my program welcomes everyone who wants help with food. I become more accepting of people who take different approaches to religion, politics, life and program. Those who believe in many ways can be as good and kind and successful as those who believe in one right way.

This morning I heard, “Program is not a sentence.” I am not jailing myself. I have not committed a crime. There is no punishment. This is not a program of discipline. It is a program of observation.

I am grateful to be a food addict. This disease gives me access to a gentle training program for liberation.

Love & Light,

Valerie

Image: Laurent-Perrier garden by Luciano Giubbilei