Gregory’s photo of the gardens he walks.
For whatever reason, my mind has been turning towards G-d these last few days.
Thursday, I was receiving acupuncture and talking about something funny; a needle was placed, and suddenly there was a release of pure sadness. It took my speech away and my breath away. I wish I had just stayed with it in the Big Self and watched it, but instead I worked as hard as I could to bring my mind back to my everyday self and what I had been saying. It took me a full minute to regain my place.
Then, in the afternoon, I was practicing restorative yoga with my teacher, Cathryn Gunnerson, and my friend Betsy B. We spent most of the time on the floor in easy, gentle poses. Half-way through I realized that I wasn’t thinking about my hurt body and what it could and couldn’t do. Instead, in each different pose, there was a different greeting to G-d. “Hello G-d…” with my knees to the left. “Hello G-d…” with my knees to the right.
Eventually, it came to me that each pose is also an expression of an aspect of G-d; or a reflection; or as is said in Buddhist teaching, “… not the moon, but the finger pointing at the moon.”
That evening, Gregory and I prepared the house for the next day of hosting our neighborhood, pot-luck Shabbat dinner. Afterwards, I took my hobbling walk with Miss Miranda, the Labradoodle. And on that walk I began to think about the trial and what the defense counsel might ask me in its cross examination while I was under oath.
My imagination flared with the thought that counsel might ask me, “Do you believe in God?” I would say, “Yes.” Then, counsel might ask me, “What is God?” It took me a long time to know what to say. Finally, what came was, “I don’t know. G-d is beyond my understanding.” Then counsel might ask me, “What do you believe?”
I spent the rest of the walk asking myself what I believe.
Today, I believe that everything is a reflection of G-d, the good, the bad and the ugly. And, among the leadings that G-d offers to us as Grace, there are leadings towards Unconditional Love, Unconditional Forgiveness, Light, Truth, Beauty, Healing, Recovery and Nature.
“So, where is God when people are cut off from Him?”
I believe that G-d is there.
My good fellowship friend reminds me that there is another question. “Where are we when we are cut off from G-d? Are we angry, afraid, insecure, intoxicated or in pain?”
There is a way back. I believe we re-connect through practice.
The practice that helps me to re-connect is quiet time, abstinence from flour and sugar, three weighed and measured meals a day, with nothing in between; 12-step meetings, phone calls and readings; yoga, meditation and prayer.
OK. Now that I’ve written it down, I think I understand the reason my mind has been turning towards G-d. Practice, of course.
It’s not so simple, but that’s what I’ve got, so far.
Love & Light,
Valerie
For me, God is you, me, everyone – it is the capability for love within us for ourselves and for others that stretches way beyond our understanding.
I see that when you are greeting your body in this way, you are offering yourself your Unconditional Love, Unconditional Forgiveness, Light, Truth, Beauty, Healing, Recovery.
Hello me. Hello.
When we are disconnected from ourselves and from others we are disconnected from whatever our God is to us. How ever we figure out how to reconnect to ourselves and others is a good thing that brings us closer to that love. Sometimes it takes effort and practice to reconnect.
Sometimes it just about not being afraid.
Holy smokes! You took me with you on this one, sister. Thank you. Hey! I just saw this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhO1DnNKYbo. Talk about connected. Love & Light, Valerie
Dear Daughters and Family and Friends, Thomas Merton says “Listen to the Silence.” When I am able to do that, I sense an ineffable Presence that gives me sustenance. I cherish it now more than ever. I found a lot of comfort in Jacob Needleman’s book, “What Is God?” He took me on a very rich journey. I am delighted to be on this same journey with the both of you and all your fellow-travellers.
Hi Mom, Ineffable is such a great word! Thank you. Love & Light, Valerie
and I can’t wait to hear In Performance at the White House tomorrow night on PBS at 9 PM! I hope Obama sings lots!
We can always hope!
Noel often reminds me that hope is the last thing to die. I feel like I’ve come home when I come to this site. I’ve been surfing my favorites and coming here is like a fabulous soak. I don’t know where or how to find God but this higher power resides in song, in relationships, and in the beautiful photographs of fruits and vegetables that you have here, in healthy nourishment. I watched Forks over Knives yesterday, a documentary about the link between eating animal protein and heart disease and cancer, then this morning found a link between vegan eating and Parkinson’s Disease because of low DHA in vegan eating. In any event it is very hard to experience a positive feeling about God when I’m not feeling well and to feel well I must be well nourished. Which leads me back to a cup of kindness. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Dear Betsy, Thank you for sharing YOUR journey. Your insights in poetry/prose sink deep into me. Love & Light, Valerie